I love the smell of old books and the feeling of holding one in my hands. As a child, one of my favorite pastimes was to tuck myself into a corner of the library and read everything within my reach. I studied history, breathed fantasy, drank mystery, and fasted on science fiction.
Even now, the thought of flipping the pages from a well-written novel soothes me like nothing else could. On many nights when I cannot force myself to go to sleep, a well-written book would be my chosen companion. The adventures they take me through help take away my worries until another time. Often I sleep with a book as my pillow. The rustling of paper pages sound like lullabies in my ears.
That is why…when I heard that a bookless library has opened in San Antonio, I felt very sad.
I am a creature of consistency. The things that are familiar to me are what forms my most precious memories. When I recall a certain thing…It is not in a blurry sort of way. I truly do remember, with most of my senses- the way something feels underneath my fingers, the way it smells, the way it looks, as well as the way my heart feels.
An electronic device just fails in comparison.
Where is the flip, where is the rustle, where is the bittersweet paper cut? Everything is replaced by a screen. What is the fun in that?
To me, that’s kinda like going to a 7-eleven to buy a slurpee. You don’t get to drink it and don’t take the time to sip.
They just squirt the favored taste in your mouth and the rest goes straight to the stomach. You’re no longer thirsty, but the feeling is not the same as actually holding the cold cup in your hands, having the freshness on your lips…
Maybe I’m just too picky and conservative.
Books have changed. Libraries have changed.
7-elevens change too.
I encountered one while traveling on my journey to find myself, and I thought it would be a nice place to take the picture with my bottled tree friend.
Like libraries and books, 7-elevens hold precious memories to me.
I can remember it just like yesterday.
There is a 7-eleven a short distance away from my university dorm. We had gone by it on some of our walks, and she had once brought me slurpees as a surprise after class.
One time in particular echoes always in my memory. It was during the beginning, when we were both very much in love yet still shy and distant.
It was evening, and she had walked me to the ice cream store at the corner of the street. Once we had ordered and eaten our ice cream, I was to go back to my own dorm as she left for her apartment.
The only problem was, neither of us wanted to part and I had believed that staying in my dorm would be more appropriate than staying at her apartment every night.
That would eventually change, of course.
But on that particular evening, we were both particularly clingy.
We crossed by the 7-eleven parking lot and then decided to go the slightly longer way back to my dorm. That way, we would be together for a longer amount of time.
I can still remember how warm she felt as we walked side by side. How sweet she looked each time I glanced secretly over (the 7-eleven often in the background, of course).
I remember the sounds of the cars, the sound of her soft and stuttery voice…
I remember everything, and it’s one of those memories that just pulls my heart in a painful way which makes me wonder how I can remain sane and remember it at the same time.
But then my tears calm down.
I still love her more than ever. I can’t help but worry of how bothered she might feel if she ever notices that I still do?
Time changes, doesn’t it?
Books will be gone, libraries are now different. Even, this 7-eleven is not the one in my heart.
For the past two years I’d gone through five different doctors. One gives up as the other starts experimenting…
Books. Love. Libraries. 7-eleven.
None of it adds up, except that there are certain things that I love, and I wish for it to be written here before I leave.
The world spins, things change, I am perpetually suffering from heart ache, and I just might….ahh.
This wilting bottled tree and I, we are of one life.
We can only try our best.
Before I sleep and never wake…I will love with all my might.